{"id":33146,"date":"2025-11-06T21:27:44","date_gmt":"2025-11-06T21:27:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/how-to-recover-from-family-jet-lag\/"},"modified":"2025-11-06T21:27:44","modified_gmt":"2025-11-06T21:27:44","slug":"how-to-recover-from-family-jet-lag","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/how-to-recover-from-family-jet-lag\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Recover from \u201cFamily Jet Lag\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n

Holidays are often accompanied by mixed emotions. On one hand, it can be lovely to gather with family and share in traditions: enjoying your dad\u2019s famous fig stuffing at Thanksgiving, lighting the menorah at Hanukkah, decorating the tree at Christmas.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, given the complexity of family dynamics<\/a>, holiday gatherings can be stressful, disappointing, and sometimes downright triggering<\/a>, leaving you feeling exhausted and depleted. Some of us need a holiday after the holidays, just to reset.<\/p>\n

These feelings are sometimes known as family jet lag. Psychologist Kristin Neff, PhD, coauthor of Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout<\/em>, says many factors can contribute to it, including a packed schedule of compulsory events. \u201cIf we\u2019re doing lots of things that we don\u2019t really want to do, but feel obligated to do, that can be really stressful,\u201d she notes.<\/p>\n

The holidays often disrupt our normal schedules, derailing the small self-care practices built into our daily routines \u2014 that relaxing postwork yoga class or a brief lunch-hour walk<\/a>.<\/p>\n

We also have limited influence over the food options at family events<\/a>. That lack of control (or the stress of the gathering itself) might lead to eating differently than we normally do. Perhaps we indulge<\/a> in some extra cookies and sugary treats. Maybe we drink a bit more alcohol than usual.<\/p>\n

Adding to the pressure is the fact that many of us revert to less-evolved versions of ourselves around family. \u201cWe still have parts of us that are very young inside,\u201d Neff says. \u201cAnd family gatherings can trigger those parts. We aren\u2019t always our most mature selves.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

\n\u201cWe still have parts of us that are very young inside,\u201d Neff says. \u201cAnd family gatherings can trigger those parts. We aren\u2019t always our most mature selves.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Grief therapist Heather Stang, author of Navigating Loss: Wisdom and Self-Care for Times of Grief and the Challenges of Life<\/em>, concurs. \u201cBecause of our expectations around who we are in a family dynamic, we often regress,\u201d she explains. \u201cThat\u2019s universal. Because, to a parent, you will always be their child. And, to you, they will always be your parent.\u201d<\/p>\n

We may leave these gatherings feeling ashamed of our behavior or berating ourselves for being unable to, say, tamp down our irritability<\/a>. That can be especially difficult these days, when many families include people with conflicting political views.<\/p>\n

But there are ways to alleviate the jet lag \u2014 in some cases, even before it begins. The following expert tips can help make your holidays happier.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS<\/span><\/p>\n

A little strategic planning can go a long way toward easing holiday stress. Stang facilitates a grief group that starts practicing for the holidays in October. The members begin by listing their needs. \u201cThat\u2019s going to be different for everybody,\u201d she notes. \u201cBut there are some similar themes: genuine connection and presence on one hand, and then perhaps some alone time on the other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Once participants have defined their needs, they have to learn how to communicate them<\/a> \u2014 which is not always easy. That\u2019s why preparation is key. This could include listing people you tend to struggle with and even creating a mini script to consult if things get messy.<\/p>\n

It could also include making a plan for getting out of the house \u2014 say, to meet up with old friends or go for a walk. You may want to role-play various scenarios with a friend or your therapist.<\/p>\n

Or you may decide ahead of time not to engage with certain topics<\/a> during the visit. However you prepare beforehand, it will help you feel less nervous when you arrive.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

DURING THE HOLIDAYS<\/span><\/p>\n

If you struggle with setting boundaries<\/a> at first, or if your preparation doesn\u2019t help as much as you\u2019d hoped, be patient with yourself. \u201cI call it practicing,\u201d Stang explains, \u201cbecause you\u2019re probably not going to do a perfect job, and you have to have some self-compassion around that.\u201d<\/p>\n

While you\u2019re at the gathering, note what works and what doesn\u2019t. \u201cObserve,\u201d she suggests. \u201cSure, some people might throw a temper tantrum: \u2018What do you mean, you need time alone to recharge? I thought I recharged you!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

But you may find that challenging conversations<\/a> can actually be illuminating. \u201cSometimes the person just needs to understand your why.\u201d<\/p>\n

Neff likens family jet lag to burnout. \u201cAny time stress exceeds our ability to cope with it, we\u2019re likely to become burned-out,\u201d she explains. \u201cIt\u2019s the body\u2019s natural way of trying to cope \u2014 it shuts down.\u201d<\/p>\n

The good news, she adds, is that self-compassion can ease stress and burnout. It won\u2019t eliminate the stress completely, but it can help us cope so we aren\u2019t so overwhelmed.<\/p>\n

One common obstacle to self-compassion, Neff warns, is the mis\u00adtaken notion that it\u2019s selfish. But if you can\u2019t be forgiving and gracious to yourself<\/a>, it\u2019s unlikely that you\u2019ll be able to be compassionate toward others.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf your care just goes outward to your family and doesn\u2019t flow back inward, you\u2019re going to get depleted,\u201d she says. \u201cCompassion has to flow in and\u00a0out.\u201d<\/p>\n

One way to practice some self-compassion during stressful family visits is through the power of touch<\/a>. We\u2019ve evolved to interpret warm touch as a signal of care, Neff explains. \u201cIt actually changes our physiology, lowers our cortisol levels, and increases heart rate variability and heart rate coherence.\u201d (Learn more about how your heart rhythms can communicate your stress levels at \u201cWhat Is Heart Coherence?<\/a>\u201c)<\/p>\n

Self-touch actually offers some of the same benefits as a warm touch from someone else. You may want to go into the bathroom or another private area, says Neff, laughing. \u201cTake a moment and put your hand on your heart, and say something like \u2018This is really stressful.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

In one study of 156 participants, researchers found that a 20-second micropractice of self-soothing touch helped reduce the effect of stress on cortisol levels.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

AFTER THE HOLIDAYS<\/span><\/p>\n

Many of us tend to jump back into work immediately after a holiday \u2014 we\u2019ve just taken time off, after all \u2014 when we might actually need more time to recover. Whether it\u2019s soaking in a bathtub<\/a> or going for a walk, find activities that offer comfort and help restore your energy.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no one correct way to do it; you get to decide what\u2019s wrong or right for you. Ask yourself what you need, and then do it.<\/p>\n

The least helpful thing to do after a family visit is to beat yourself up. \u201cMaybe you\u2019ll need to send a little apology email,\u201d says Neff. \u201cBut remember, it\u2019s human. My mother lives next door, and I still find myself reacting like a teenager to her sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead of judging yourself, try to cultivate what Neff calls a learning mindset<\/a>. So, rather than telling yourself, I really blew it. I can\u2019t believe I verbally sparred with my stepcousin, switch to thinking, What can I learn from the things that were\u00a0challenging?<\/em><\/p>\n

After holidays, Stang formally assesses what went right and what went wrong by practicing what she calls integration. \u201cThanksgiving is usually the first major holiday of the year, and in my counseling groups, the class after that is always\u00a0integration.\u201d<\/p>\n

People are often surprised by what they learn during integration. \u201cSomeone might say, \u2018Oh my gosh, it was a total disaster,\u2019\u201d she explains. \u201cBut then they\u2019ll say, \u2018But I really enjoyed playing with my nephew.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a lot of impermanence<\/a> in life,\u201d Stang continues. \u201cAnd I\u2019ve been able to observe people who have had really difficult family dynamics, and to see that change. I\u2019ve gotten to witness change in my own family. Learning, and holding onto that hope, is so important.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n
\n

<\/i> \u00a0Balance<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Explore more empowering strategies to support your efforts to live in (closer) alignment with your values at our Balance department<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

The post How to Recover from \u201cFamily Jet Lag\u201d<\/a> appeared first on Experience Life<\/a>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Holidays are often accompanied by mixed emotions. On one hand, it can be lovely to gather with family and share in traditions: enjoying your dad\u2019s famous fig stuffing at Thanksgiving, lighting the menorah at Hanukkah, decorating the tree at Christmas. On the other hand, given the complexity of family dynamics, holiday gatherings can be stressful, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":33147,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-life"],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-10-25 19:14:48","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33146","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33146"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33146\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/33147"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33146"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33146"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33146"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}