{"id":1095,"date":"2025-03-13T11:17:54","date_gmt":"2025-03-13T11:17:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/heres-what-to-say-if-people-make-rude-comments-about-your-childs-appearance\/"},"modified":"2025-03-13T11:17:54","modified_gmt":"2025-03-13T11:17:54","slug":"heres-what-to-say-if-people-make-rude-comments-about-your-childs-appearance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpnewswire.com\/news\/heres-what-to-say-if-people-make-rude-comments-about-your-childs-appearance\/","title":{"rendered":"Here’s What To Say If People Make Rude Comments About Your Child’s Appearance"},"content":{"rendered":"
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You\u2019re reading Between Us, a place for parents to offload and share their tricky parenting dilemmas.\u00a0Share your parenting dilemma here\u00a0<\/a>and we\u2019ll seek advice from experts.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re non-confrontational, it can be tough to stand up to people \u2013 especially family members who have a history of making unkind comments.<\/p>\n

But once you become a parent<\/a>, it is so crucial that you do.\u00a0<\/p>\n

One person shared how they recently stood up to their sister and told her to stop commenting on her baby\u2019s \u201cflaws\u201d.<\/p>\n

The mum took to\u00a0r\/Parenting<\/a>\u00a0on Reddit<\/a> to explain that her sister kept making \u201clighthearted but persistent jokes\u201d about her baby\u2019s physical features.<\/p>\n

This included \u201cmentioning his protruding ear, his \u2018receding hairline\u2019, and even a nonexistent \u2018bump\u2019 on his nose\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The parent went on to explain that growing up, she was teased by her siblings<\/a> (\u201cespecially my sister\u201d) about her looks, taste in music and fashion.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt took me years to build enough confidence to tune out her comments. Even now, her equally judgmental husband questions why I do my makeup a certain way or listen to certain podcasts,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Understandably, she didn\u2019t want that same cycle to continue with her baby.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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I did it. I finally told my sister to stop commenting on my baby\u2019s \u201cflaws\u201d.<\/a>
byu\/Glittering-Silver402<\/a> inParenting<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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\u201cI had planned to address it in person, but after she made another comment on a photo I posted [online], I decided to say something right then,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI told her, \u201cNo more bringing up his ear tho lol. I don\u2019t want him growing up hearing critiques about his appearance and getting self-conscious about things\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

The parent said her sister responded with the thumbs up emoji \u2013 and that was that.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know she\u2019s probably annoyed and rolling her eyes, but I have to stand up for my baby. If there\u2019s a next time, I won\u2019t be so nice,\u201d the user, known as\u00a0Glittering-Silver402<\/a>, added.<\/p>\n

The comments section was awash with people applauding her for taking a stand. But some suggested she could be more assertive.\u00a0<\/p>\n

One respondent said: \u201cI would like for you to take a moment and reflect on all your sister has said to you while you were growing up. Think of how each of these things she said made you feel.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, think of what you would have wanted someone to say to her in those moments. Say that to her when she comments on your child. Be the person you didn\u2019t have. EVERY time, not just sometimes. Don\u2019t let her continue this harm onto your children.\u201d<\/p>\n

Of course, it\u2019s not just babies who may face mean remarks from family members \u2013 toddlers, young children and even teens might be on the receiving end of such comments.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a parent and you\u2019re facing this predicament with a friend or family member, we spoke to Anna Mathur<\/a>, psychotherapist and author of Raising A Happier Mother<\/a>, about exactly how to respond.<\/p>\n

What to say if someone makes comments about your child\u2019s appearance that don\u2019t sit right<\/strong><\/h2>\n

First up, Mathur suggests setting a clear boundary right away. The therapist says: \u201cIt\u2019s OK to politely but firmly shut down comments that could shape a child\u2019s self-perception negatively.\u201d<\/p>\n

You could try saying something like: \u201cWe don\u2019t talk about appearances like that\u201d or \u201clet\u2019s focus on what really matters\u201d, which can help to redirect the conversation.<\/p>\n

The same goes for standing up for yourself if people make comments about your body.<\/p>\n

\u201cChildren pick up on how we respond. If we brush off or laugh along with unkind remarks, they may internalise the idea that their appearance is up for discussion,\u201d warns the therapist.<\/p>\n

\u201cShowing confidence in our own bodies helps them do the same. In addition, when they hear us advocate for ourselves and others in holding boundaries, it empowers them to do that for themselves too.\u201d<\/p>\n

When you speak to your child in private, it\u2019s also important to help protect their developing self-image with positive comments.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cEven if they don\u2019t react outwardly, they absorb the way people speak about them,\u201d says Mathur.<\/p>\n

\u201cA private reassurance like, \u2018I love your ears just as they are\u2019 or \u2018your body is exactly as it should be\u2019 can help balance or counteract any negativity they\u2019ve heard.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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According to Big Life Journal,\u00a0a popular Instagram account offering parenting advice<\/a>, for every negative comment you, or in this case, someone else, makes about your child, you should then balance it out with three positive ones.<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cScientists discovered that it takes three positive experiences to offset one negative experience,\u201d\u00a0they wrote in an Instagram post.<\/a><\/p>\n

If people do repeatedly make comments that aren\u2019t OK, it\u2019s perfectly acceptable to be direct \u2013 even if it will make things a bit uncomfortable.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Mathur suggests trying something like: \u201cI\u2019d really appreciate it if we didn\u2019t comment on [child\u2019s name]\u2019s looks. I want them to feel confident in themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

She continues: \u201cMost people don\u2019t mean harm, but normalising this kind of talk can have long-term effects. Placing a boundary may even prompt valuable reflection by the person who made the comment.\u201d<\/p>\n

The therapist notes that while addressing these comments might feel awkward, especially with family or friends who think they\u2019re being lighthearted, in the long run \u201cyour child\u2019s self-worth is far more important\u201d.<\/p>\n

She concludes: \u201cStanding up for them teaches them that they are worth advocating for \u2013 and that\u2019s a lesson that lasts a lifetime.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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